Hardwood Helium Conspiracy
By Wiley Jenkins
This reporter has just been given proof that The Mega Hard Wood Group's campaign to Boom The Moon! In order to mine helium for the good to the planet has all been a cunning ruse to enrich the pockets of the Board of director's of The Mega Hard Wood Group.
I just got off the phone with billionaire CEO Willliam Sawtooth III, and he has confirmed that the board of directors from The Mega Hard Wood Group have staged a coup and purchased all the shares of Sawtooth's much publicized Person-Corp, effectively stealing the company from him. Quoting Sawtooth “ I can't believe I was that blind, the underhanded bastards stole it all right out from under me”.
But that is not where there devious plans end. Below you can see an internal memo acquired by the aforementioned Sawtooth that clearly shows the Boom The Moon! Campaign to not be the altruistic world benefitting program claimed by the company, but an underhanded attempt to acquire helium for the company's subsidiary Bubble Buzz Soda.
All calls to The Mega Hard Wood Group for Comment have not been returned. Is it too late to stop this perilous endeavor? Since the company has received all of the legal permits if the stockholders in William Sawtooth's Person-Corp Decide to go ahead with this spurious plan on Friday there is nothing the public can do about it. Except watch the night sky and pray that catastrophe does not happen.
Secret Mega Hardwood Group Memo -->
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